Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
