i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize