There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
