Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
