when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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