Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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