Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
