oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
