okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
