I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
