What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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