white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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