There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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