There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
