I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
