bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
