I swear to god he's a one man village people.
they're like a gay fantastic four
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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