I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I lost the right to judge tonight
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
