Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
