hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will be naked everywhere
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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