that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
