"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
