He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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