Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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