Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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