I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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