M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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