So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
