Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
