garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
smell my finger.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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