At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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