Tell her she can't have a vagina
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
