The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
