peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
