Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
