We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
