...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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