he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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