He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
