TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
