a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
