he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just blew my weed a kiss
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
