are you still at the devil's house?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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