i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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