i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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