I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
