dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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