Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
