someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
