i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
