Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
