YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Let's paint friendship bongs
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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